Friday, June 28, 2013

Misidentified

I identify myself as frequently wrong and mistakenly right


I was dealing with an employee and his ex-spouse in one of my jobs and the employee was hearing impaired so we communicated via my computer terminal and a few poorly executed comments I tried to hand motion in sign language.  He indicated to me that he would have an "advocate" contact me to help in the interpretation of a particular problem.  A very nice lady by the name of Linda called me and we had a lovely conversation concerning some issues he was having with his ex-wife.  The next day the employee entered my office and began to sign furiously.  I went old school and pulled out a yellow legal pad of paper and a pencil at which point we began to communicate via handwritten notes that went like this:

"My ex-wife is very angry, what did your do?"

"I do not know your ex-wife, why do you think I did something?"

"She said you told her I did not want to help her."

"I told your advocate Linda that you did not want to help your ex-wife."

"Linda is my ex-wife."

"Oh...."

I did not know how to sign: AWKWARD.

In the winter I like to ice skate and usually go very early before work to skate at a rink near my home.  There are a couple of older people like myself but mostly young girls that practice with a coach or work on refining their routines.  I have become quite friendly with the ZAMBONI guy who maintains the ice and a couple of the regulars.  One man in particular is older than me - I think - and takes lessons on the public ice rink.  He is a very persnickety guy and always changes the music, or yells at the kids fooling around or makes sure that everyone is skating in the same direction...in addition he is not that good and falls a lot.  I wear sweats and a hundred year old jacket but this guy has all the fancy equipment and my ZAMBONI friend and I roll our eyes when he complains about the ice rink conditions.  Once I tried to find out what kind of work he did and thought I had it pinned down to engineer.  Civil, mechanical, chemical or electrical engineer seemed to fit his controlling personality and when I asked him if my guess was right he stated, "something like that."

So imagine my surprise this week when I heard a familiar voice at my doctor's office.  While waiting for my doctor I heard a man on the phone so I slowly moved my chair back to peek around the door jam and sure enough it was the figure skating guy...he is my OBGYN's partner...how is that anything like an engineer?  I had read the brochure on the practice and I had missed the guy's name and picture.  Outside of my job I do not really pay attention to anyone's name.  Individuals just become characters to me like the ZAMBONI guy, figure skater guy, get-my-computer-to-work guy...but now I am faced with a decision concerning introducing myself properly to my OBGYN's partner.  I can not imagine he would ever have to fill in for my doctor since I have entered the economy model stage of my life.   There are not too many parts remaining and those that are still functioning can wait for any tune ups.  I am guessing that he is a great doctor and he should not give up his day job.  As I am writing I realize I will probably just do the adult thing and avoid running into him at his office.

I would like to tell you that this experience has taught me not to judge a book by its cover or some other appropriate clich√© to signify my growth and new found self awareness.  However; I think we all know me well enough that my base sense of humor would not allow that level of maturity.  Instead I am determined to review the Star Trek movies (especially the current Chris Pine as Captain Kirk episodes) and diligently seek out Spock to assist me in a Vulcan Mind Wipe that would remove the image seared in my brain of figure skater guy greeting me for an OBGYN exam. 

If that happens, anyone beam me up!

   

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