Every picture in my mind is a bit off center...as if I am simply leaning into life.
Lately I have found myself in a constant state of indecision. I am not sure if I should have a mug of coffee or a cup of tea, water the garden or vacuum the carpet, call a friend or retreat into a book on tape. This indecision is contrary to my nature which includes order and direction. I have been blessed or cursed with this conundrum throughout my life and have always pulled myself up by my boot straps - or rather sneaker shoelaces - and headed out on what I thought was the road most traveled. I would reason out my problems and methodically work toward a logical solution. Sometimes I would seek wise counsel and make the responsible choice. So what's up?
At this moment I have an overwhelming desire to buy a house in Michigan City, Indiana and move to a new place where no one knows me with no foresight or for that matter...plan. What really concerns me is that I have never been to Michigan City and I am pretty sure aside from Buffalo, NY it has the highest snow fall in the country. There is absolutely nothing drawing me to this location except an advertisement for a really expensive, really cool house that is 563 square feet in the middle of nowhere on a wooded community farm. I have gone as far as investigating the taxes on the property and plan on making a special trip this weekend to view the house just to satiate my curiosity. Worse yet, the state of Indiana taxes public and private pensions, so really there is no good news about this impulse fantasy.
I have been divorced for 18 months and moved out two years ago. My other divorced friends are spending time on social network sites and looking forward to meeting new people in new situations. So again I ask myself what's up? I am contemplating running away to Indiana of all places, what is wrong with a fantasy escape to scenic Hawaii or Maine or any of the other 50 states? Even the ads for this property marketed the sites as second homes...as if they knew no sane person would consider a year round move to an area that is often buried with "Lake Effect" snow.
So one more time I ask myself what's up? I have been unable to focus on the daily events that fill my life, but I feel an overwhelming desire to see this house. It seems to me that if I do not follow through on this task my indecision will remain a constant companion. I am ready to throw caution to the wind (and boy is it windy in Michigan City, Indiana) and follow my impulses...at least to the house advertised and possibly the adjacent outlet mall...One can only hope that the property is too expensive or the neighbors too close...if I fall in love I will let you all know, especially since I may be borrowing money for the down payment!
P.S. For my concerned family and friends fear not...I am actually visiting my sister for the weekend in Michigan, which does not tax pensions...and will swing back past the house and outlet mall...