Sunday, June 2, 2013

Knot Good

There are times when my stars are tied in a Gordian knot...resulting in great psychic confusion...

I am a great fan of the first Raider's of the Lost Ark.  There is a scene in the market between the main character and an individual meant to resemble a whirling dervish.  During the time of Lawrence of Arabia these nomadic fighters would stream in a circular manner down a sand dune toward the European (French, English or Dutch) invaders on the command of their Sheiks.  In the movie Harrison Ford abandons his bull whip and instead shoots the swordsman.  I had read this was not in the original script but Harrison Ford had the stomach flu and asked the Director to cut the scene short.  The same was true when Alexander the Great simply cut the knot with no beginning or end (Gordian) by slicing it with his sword. 

Recently I find myself with several intractable problems.  Problem number one concerns the IRS auditing my ex-husband and myself (again).  Problem two involves water streaming into the basement of the house I am renting. Problem three concerns the difficult marriage of my dependence on my old life and desire to establish a new life.   Some of my friends refer to these three issues as first world problems, although I think a river running through the basement could even be a problem in a hut in Africa.  Let's examine them one at a time:

Problem one...I have no idea why the IRS has taken a liking to me and my ex.  Certainly any lingering issues we may have experienced post divorce have surfaced under the pressure of producing every scrap of paper going back to 1988 related to our financial health.  The IRS has been able to successfully ferret out the weaknesses in our relationship.  They were able to get us to the heart of our problems much faster than our two marriage counselors.   I wonder if marriage vows would be stronger if they included "whatever God has blessed let no man or the IRS put asunder".   It would be wrong to blame this great federal institution for the collapse of my marriage, but I certainly can blame it for ending a tenuous peace with my ex, my accountant and my financial advisor.

Problem two...The bad news is we lost electricity in a rainstorm yesterday, in the middle of the hockey game.  The good news is the sump pump has not been working for a week and I do not like hockey.  Granted, it was harder for me to see the water line in the sump pit at 7:00 p.m.  By nightfall I had already spent two days scooping water from the pit into a bucket to dump in the sink.  I had a good rhythm going and did not even need to see the bottom of the pit to know I was about half way done.  The experience gave me a fresh look at the half empty or half full comparison.

Problem three...this is the Gordian knot problem.  I just started to put some money aside to be able to purchase some first world items like a car, a house and some clothes...wait those are third world items too.  In the process of meeting the financial goals of the IRS I began to review my own.  Although I know my disposable income has diminished greatly from the divorce when I put pen to paper I realized the depressing fact that I may be in a walker by the time I can afford a house and a car...maybe some new clothes (thank you nieces for your gently used garments if you have any to send me feel free to forward them as soon as possible).  If only I had Harrison's whip or Alexander's sword I could slice through the knot with no beginning and no end, then pay my pound of flesh to the federal government. 

My solution to coping with these problems is to head to the basement and remove the buckets of water that have accumulated in the sump pit since I started this blog.  I am still looking for the beginning of the knot and hope one day to unravel the mystery of my new/old life...or I take the shortcut, buy a $10 raffle ticket and maybe win $1,000,000...

P.S.  I am fairly certain there are no basements in a that would mean water streaming through the living that is half full...also why is a car first world when the cost of feeding a horse or camel for that matter is so much higher...maybe mules are cheaper...      


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