Auld Anxiety

Inaction is an action, or sometimes just a reaction.



Time to evaluate my 2012 resolutions  which I boldly wrote in my handwritten journal and promptly forgot to consult the rest of the year.  Let's see how I did:

1) Achieve relative financial independence...always good for me to qualify my resolutions so I can have an escape clause if I fail.  This one I actually think I have maintained.  After a fairly inexpensive divorce due to an awesome and honest collaborative Attorney, I set out to master the Eat, Pray, Love  model of single living.  Funny how that book, later glamorized by the beautiful Julia Roberts in the movie, forgot to mention that in order to have the fabulous life portrayed you actually needed income.  Many a time this past eight months I have searched my pockets, couches, jars, and desk drawers for loose change or an unexpired gift card.  I joined several chocolate, beauty, fashion and coffee clubs so once a month I can stalk the retail stores looking for the minimum purchase that lands the free treat.  I booked a trip 18 months in advance in the dead of winter to Great Britain.  Well at least I booked it!  I have slowly taken over paying all of my own bills with a bit extra to pay my debt to my ex-husband.  Sure sometimes I think I have reverted back to sophomore year in College, but a vegetarian diet and no wasteful spending has helped me carefully craft my conservationist image.  My family just says I am cheap. 

2)  Stay in good health, listen to my doctor, no off-roading.  I did see the doctor, twice.

3) Look around, what are my options for other work, places to live, activities to try.   This resolution I took a very measured approach.  That included identifying locations where family or friends lived and ruling out any area where the taxes rivaled the gross national product of Turkestan.  That narrowed my search to the state I live in, the state adjacent and Florida.  Florida is a haven for aging, aged, old wealthy and broke people and really makes a heck of an effort to keep it inexpensive.  It may stay on the list for the buffet's alone, although the fresh produce stores are driving up the prices.  The state I live in is fine for now but requires further investigation once it climbs out of the financial cavern.  It went over the financial cliff a couple governor's ago.  The state next door has my extremely patient brother-in-law and sister who drove me all over the lake country listening to my indecisive rants.  Sorry guys it is still a contender.   I really never got to 'activities to try', see my response to resolution #1.

4)  Stay true to myself and do not be pushed into something I feel is wrong.  This summer my mother and I bought side by side bricks and small vaults to stow our ashes when we pass away.   It is in the cemetery behind the house I grew up in and looks like part of a brick path in a quiet little tree lined park.  The name on my stone is my maiden name.  I thought I better change back to that name to match the marker.  Need I say more?