Using envy to propel me into the future takes a certain amount of chutzpah.
I learned at an early age and situated smack dab in the middle of a largish family that there were always going to be people that were prettier, smarter, faster, younger, funnier, wealthier...you get the drift. It has taken me most of my adult life however to realize that attaining what I think everyone else has accomplished somehow has shaped who I am today. For example, I was explaining to my sister and niece this weekend how I could very nearly buy the same house three times and still not have it paid off when I hit my Mother's age. Now, I know there are alot of middle aged people out there that own their home and have already remortgaged to put their kids through college. It does not sadden me that the bank continues to take my money with no regard for the supreme effort it takes me to fork over the coin. But what does bring tears to my eyes is that the value of the house 20 something years ago is the same value it is today.
I constantly fight the impulse to compare my accomplishments today with other people my age and lately even those younger members of my family. If I do make those comparisons then I will talk myself out of trying new things like this blog or (gasp) an IPhone or possibly a new life and a new career altogether. I am part white Anglo Saxon Protestant and that side of my upbringing encourages suppression of emotion. Envy, jealousy, guilt (no wait that is the Catholic side) are wasted emotions in my humble opinion. Except on occasion when I take them out of the coal bin in my mind, pour a whole lot of lighter fuel on them and light them up with anger to motivate my lazy butt into action.
If you know me and you decide to take a trip past Bowling Green Kentucky I will ask you to please pick up a ticket for me to win a corvette at the Corvette Museum situated off of route 66. The museum is basically a giant phallic architectural feat, thus my Mother's comment "oh my" when she saw it. So if you are going there I have my $10 ready for your purchase of my ticket. The reason I ask anyone I can to buy me the ticket is the enthusiastic belief I have that I will win the car. I do not like corvette's, have no real desire to own a corvette but I need the hope that I am going to win that car. Someone once told me I can not win if I do not play and that has stuck with me throughout my up and down life. I also like to buy any tickets I can for the Art Institute of Chicago raffle. They have trips to Paris and New York. Once the winners are announced I envy them for a week and then I go about securing the next ticket for the upcoming year. I like to put that ticket right on my bulletin board and imagine the trips I will be taking driving my corvette across country to visit all the people who bought me a ticket in the past.
Each year I buy a ticket, and each year I spend an entire year thinking I can accomplish what I set out to do, win. This is the result of my inspired envy, I am not defeated for long by my set backs and continue to live with hope for my future success....so thanks to all of you who are willing to indulge my overactive imagination by reading this blog and remember to call me if you are heading to Bowling Green, Kentucky...
P.S. We made it! At least 500 hits which I know in blog world is not incredible but in Bowling Green it is Epic!